Blessings and Heartbreak

One year ago today, we announced our greatest blessing.

One week later, we would announce our greatest heartbreak.

Not knowing we would have the same type of heartbreak again three months later.

I am forever changed. I miss my babies every day.

As I sat in the waiting room today for my boyfriend's therapy appointment, which is shared space for a pediatric office, it was difficult not to think about or wonder what might have been. What never will be.

We lost more than our babies. We lost our toddlers, our preteens, our teenagers. We lost cries and diaper changes; playing peek a boo and patty cake; first words and first steps; hearing mama and dada, then mommy and daddy, mom and dad. We lost dance recitals and sports practices; video games and puzzles; teaching them to count and their abc's; singing lullabies and silly songs; embarrassing them by hugging them too much and then angering them by saying the wrong things. Teaching them kindness and respect, love and sharing; that it's okay to feel things, and teaching them how to work through them. We lost proms and driving lessons, parent-teacher nights, and chaperoning. We lost a whole level of our lives.

We may have children one day. And we will be extremely grateful and afraid for our rainbow baby(ies). But we will never be able to replace our heavenly babies or the love we have for them.

I will never not talk about them.

I would love to hear about your babies. If you feel up to sharing in the moment, comment below: How old were they? What were their names?

#miscarriage #infantloss #1in4 #breakthestigma #letstalkaboutit #support #mengrievetoo #angelbabies #healing #life #love #grief #heartbreak #alwaysamom #alwaysadad